Friday, 31 January 2014

Father vs Daddy Ranty Pants

Alright, this is a bit of a rant!!

Any dick, or at least the vast majority of 'em can become a father. A bit of a squirt and some fortuitous or otherwise timing and the deed is set in motion. The father making is the very easy bit.

The Daddy making is far harder.

Some advice to those dick squirts who think that their most impressive act finished at ejaculation:
  • If you are not going to be around full time , then at least abide by the Mummy rules, do not be the good-time dick.
  • Recognise that it costs MONEY to raise the product of your woopie! and far more than you believe or think it should, so stump up the bloody cash, well before you buy ciggies or booze or drugs or a new guitar, and for the sake of your child DO NOT quit your job just so you don't have to pay any child support.
  • For the short time you see your child, make them the ONLY FOCUS in your day. Don't plonk 'em in front of the tellie or the wii so you can zone out, play with 'em, talk to 'em, feed 'em and remember there is a reason why children are not meant to be watching M rated movies, even if you have illegally downloaded them, the movies that is not the kid.
  • Do NOT use the child as a weapon against their mother.
  • Make decisions based on what is good for the child, not what is easiest for you, or what will be most problematic for Mum.
  • Make sure your child has a shower and brushes their teeth, especially if you are dropping them at school. Remember that in this instance YOU are in great measure in charge of how your kid is perceived by their peers, and no one ever wanted to sit next to the stinky kid!
  • It's not rocket science is it?  Either be happy that you have donated the sperm and leave it at that, or treat the product of your bits at least as well as you might a puppy, love 'em and respect the efforts of the fulltime mummy.
I really reckon it would all too often be in the kids' best interest if the discharge of the sperm was the end of the story.

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