Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Bloody ANTS




Where do ants come from.... This is posed as a rhetorical question, cos I know the answer. They are breeding in the walls of my kitchen and at anytime when I am not banging away in there, they are making a soldier like marching band all across the benches and into the sink and some are disappearing down the cruchie munchable. At any given time I can sneak up on about a gizzillion of the little fuckers and it doesn't matter how many I try to kill using boiling water, paper towel crushing, lethal sprays of baygon, they just seem to re-group and carry on regardless. That Pommie expression about 'Keep Calm and Carry On' could very likely have been coined by ants.

They seem to be harmless enough, but the fact that I cannot get rid of 'em makes me feel like I am living in some shitting B grade horror movie where if I stop still for too long I will be overtaken by the black swarm and taken to their leader.

I have scrubbed the granite to within an inch of its life and the is no food anywhere - well that is not unusual, even after spending an appalling fortune at woolies, there is still nothing to eat at my place. Why the hell are the little fuckers so intent on taking up residence in my kitchen.

I had hoped some months ago that this was just a seasonal thing but what season could it be. They are here in the wet and the dry and the heat and the breeze and the humidity and can survive the stink of mozzie coils which is about enough to see me off.

I have had enough. I want a Pied Piper for Ants to pop on over and whistle 'em all outta here and take 'em over to somewhere which is owned by someone who gives me the shits.

'A Pox on all their houses'