Thursday, 18 December 2014

I am so glad to be nothing like the woman who bore me.

I had all sorts of lovely to write about today but that was usurped by a hostile steely rude - just ask Ziggy! encounter today at lunch.

Bell and Zig and I had a date for lunch and in this heat we decided to forego the scrummy offerings at the local cafe, which would have meant sitting in the scorch of the sun and the reflection of more heat off the bitumen, and instead we trooped into the local air-conditioned pub, where we knew the food would be, well just less but the comfort much much more. .

We were not the only ones with this brain wave. The car park was full and the restaurant was heaving. Zig and I tumbled in and started looking for a table.

I can be pretty single minded when looking for somewhere to park it and I spied a vacant table through the sea of Christmas cheerers wearing silly hats and made a bee line for it. All the while Zig's shouts of, 'That's Granny' went unheeded.

We plopped ourselves down and then he explained again that he had seen Grandma.

Now as is all too common these days that could be one of very many people, but I was pretty sure that even in this day and age of craziness it was probably a woman.

Zig has 3 sets of grandparents and I am not at all sure how many great grandies, but the roughly blended families make the possibilities of who he saw pretty vast. He called to Bell as she came in and was pointing wildly and I was looking at completely the wrong people, and Bell stopped on her way to us to say hello to some old woman.

Well bugger me! IT WAS THE WOMAN WHO BORE ME! Yep there was mother, sitting in all her glory amid a bunch of old crones.

Bell told her that she was here with Zig and me for lunch.

It has been more than 20 years since I have heard from the woman. I realise that in this time I could have sucked up any pride and foregone any integrity and I could have contacted her but I haven't. She has gone her merry way, disowning 2 daughters and foregoing a relationship with her grand daughter and great grandie boy, so that she could continue the habits of a lifetime and protect her waste of space son, forge a relationship with my ex-husband and his now wife, who Mother used to drive miles to avoid, and adopt another family altogether. She's been quite busy.

Anyway in an ordinary year, I think of her never, so my life is very much simpler without her demands and all of her 'look at me look at me' behaviour.

It was quite a shock to be in the same room as her after all these years.

Bell nearly had a melt down but I told her not to worry. I was more than happy to eat and let eat.

But NO, the woman had other plans. She lobbed over to the table and bugger me she sat down!! She said, 'Hi' to Zig and again to Bell and made small talk, ignoring me altogether. She stayed for too long and then left.

As she walked away Zig said,' How RUDE, she just ignored you Ma.'

She must be 80 and she looked very well, hard as nails as ever. Bell reckons she is losing it and that dementia might be biting away at her, but she looked perfectly in control to me, well turned out wearing her jewels. Perfectly in control as ever, playing everyone for fools.   

It has never been my intention to give the woman a line let alone paragraph in this little blog but it was quite the event.