Thursday, 28 April 2016

X is for XAT


Melbourne flat XATS



Yeh it's a stretch, but it was either a story about carved memorial totems, XATS- or maybe the rather bland candle sticks in this flat, or a description of the xray facilities in St Vincent's Hospital, and as I only ventured in to the Pathology area yesterday, the totems have it.

I have not kept it a secret that the preliminaries to securing this flat were long and more than a little painful, but once done and once we got hold of the keys out of the letterbox out of the key safe using the code provided and then we let ourselves in and found the fob for the garage and Stevie got a little lost but did finally find it by NOT using the neighbour's directions, we took a few seconds to pull a hanky over our mouths to avoid the stinking fumes of cleaning product, and check the place out.

There are all sorts of weird shit shoveled in here, not least being the timber candle sticks on the dining table. There are House Rules on little stickers all over the place but none to do with the the lighting of candles and the consequent dripping of wax onto the glass table...Maybe this is the loop hole to the whole cleaning issue. Maybe a little hillock of spilled wax on glass is ok but a clean glass left in the drainer is cause for invoking a $40 additional cleaning fee - $60 has already been paid up front. That seems a pretty steep cleaning bill, but I suppose that stinky shit, which 3 days in still really really pongs, might just cost a motza. I am pretty sure that no one has used the bloody candle sticks - My CSI investigations indicates no wax anywhere on 'em or scratch marks where wax was pried off 'em either. I reckon they just take up space on the bloody table, or maybe it's for 'decoration'.

Like some of these other bits of tat. I mean who hangs a wooden monkey up in a rental holiday place and who would come to Melbourne and book into a flat in Fitzroy so they can practice their Japanese Tea service ritual?



The pantry is full of left over other people's stuff, which I do not want to touch, but imagine is well passed the use by, and there is a condiments pull out which is similarly stacked with shit of dubious vintage. Seriously this all just suggests to the next people in that it's OK for old leftovers NOT to hit the bin, just leave it there to fester, but that clean glass on the dish rack, well that's a big NO NO.

We are off to roam around Fitzroy today and after last nights meander we expect to eyespy the stores from whence all this stuff sprang. Last night we saw, not a stag, but an elephant so I reckon if I were to go in when the shop is open I could find a matching pair for this fella.


Now I am not saying that all this tat is hideous, it's just really odd for a short term holiday rental. It all needs to be dusted - not very well to date, and it is very personal taste.

She has access to a $500 bond in case we bust up the place, so I am pleased to have taken photos of the already less than pristine plumbing and bathroom fixtures and the kitchen bench, oh and I have a fine one of Stevie vacumming up the dust lumps that fell off one of the door edges. Maybe what she is really concerned about is that someone is gonna take off with her Stag, or the Sticks or the Swinging Monkey, cos damage enough has already been done to the actual flat itself.

500 bucks for XATS of dubious authenticity seems pretty steep.