No this is not a yarn about the modern drug ICE, mostly cos I know not enough to cover the head of a pin about that stuff and I am pleased about that. I am hoping like a grandmother that the Grandie can go his whole life in such blissful ignorance too but I fear for him and all young people who might be tempted to 'find out more'.
Nah my drug of choice has always been booze, fizz, alcohol, goon, plonk, or the hard stuff.
When I was a girl my lovely dad, had a wine cellar stacked with braggable stuff, all kept climate controlled. He was one of those, some say pretentious, I say pretty fucking discerning fellas who could tell you on which side of the hill the grapes were grown - yeh that's not too much of a stretch, but he could say that Bob, with a broken right pinky and wearing a big hat, from whatever winery picked the damn grapes on a tuesday afternoon, just after the rain and an argument with his missus, and all sorts of other info, which I found, to be honest more than a tad boring. He happily let us taste his stuff, yep even the good stuff, but it took me a long time to develop a real taste for it, although we did manage to down a bottle of - he'd be almost ashamed to say, Asti Riccadonna, which was MY favourite, as I got ready to head off to married life. But he really wasn't that much of a snob about it all. There was always a bottle of Asti in the fridge for me and I loved it very very chilled.
Advocaat and Lemonade was a bilious concoction I drank for a few years, along with Blue Lagoons and at home, just a Bundi rum and Orange juice was fine. All this weirdness one by one fell by the wayside after a night of too many left me throwing up like the hose had been left on and the smell of these drinks still makes me feel queasy.
I have tried most things but have settled on vodka and soda sometimes with a dash of lime sometimes not. Or a glass of bubbly or white wine, almost ever red.
But what drinks have always had in common is that they need to be cold, bloody cold, icy bloody cold, I am an Aussie girl after all.
My adult life has seen me filling ice trays and emptying the little cubes into ice cream bins in the freezer. It was always been a sad day when the ice ran out. The ice maker in our fridge might well be my favourite thing in the house. The automatic making of the cold stuff is reassuring and well just plain bloody wonderful.
But let's face it there are more ways to use ice than just shoving it into drinks or ice buckets for drinks.
So here are some home remedies for you to consider.
* The old fashioned esky for picnics, fill it up to save any old salmonella.
* A zippy bag of ice and a little water wrapped in a tea towel on the head or back of your neck, is good for a migraine.
* Freeze that chewing gum slapped into your hair with some ice cubes and it just breaks off - the gum not the hair.
* Ice up an Insect bites - bees, midges, mozzies, though I would suggest for a Redback Bite something more powerful might be necessary.
* Pulled a muscle at Netball, grab the zippy bag again.
* Want to pierce your ears - ice 'em up and go the big poke, not sure if this works for other body spots.
* If you want to be fancy schmancy with veg, you can make pretty little flowerettes by chopping and putting in ice water.
* And as luck would have it if you unfortunately need to be downing poison cos you are unwell, then swilling back water close to frozen makes for a very pleasant numbing effect on the gums.
My grandie loves a bit of ice. 'Do you want ice in your juice?' 'Yes please, but only 5 cubes please'
Dentists are less pleased with ice cos apparently chomping on it can break your teeth. There's always a naysayer isn't there.
What do you use ice for?