Monday, 18 April 2016

O is for OMG


We like a bit of sport. Well Stevie plays a bit of sport and I like to plant my arse firmly in the lounge chair and take charge of the remote, cos I reckon sport is walking to the fridge for another drink or maybe a bit of choccie, so as it's Stevie's birthday trip I thought I'd see about some tickets to see an AFL game at the Adelaide Oval. But they were sold out. And I am not surprised really cos Adelaide folk do very much love their CROWS, even their public buses are painted in the CROW colours!

The Oval stands out like dogs' balls from all around and I only whisper that it sure looks better at night with all the lights on. People traveled to and from the game with patience and decorum, and whatever systems Adelaide has in place for moving this large number of people, she should share with the rest of the world.

But as I said we didn't have any tickets.

We had wandered in, perhaps illegally, to some strange building that used to be a church. The door was open a crack so we didn't have to break in. And inside there was a small but interesting music 'museum', mostly about Jimmy Barnes and Stevie wander upstairs for a look see and it was some odd arrangement where you could RENT A DESK. As we didn't want a desk and weren't supposed to be there anyway, he didn't ask for the lease details.

But downstairs I found a poster for a sporting event that I thought might make up for the lack of an Oval visit.

I took a photo and later tried to get some tickets, but we don't have a printer and they wouldn't send 'em to my phone, so instead we took a chance that there'd be some at the gate.

We popped on the tram out to Glenelg and there was a helpful local hearing us chatting about how to get to the EVENT. He gave us very specific directions. The Beach is very pretty, somewhere between Manly in Sydney and Sidmouth in England.

Not that we doubted the fella's advice, but we doubted the fella's advice, so we did a reccie on the way back, and bugger me he was absolutely right.

Later on we made our way back. The game started at 6pm the flier and the website said, so 5.30 saw us join the line. There were I think 3 lines. Season ticket holders, pre booked folk and dicks like us with no printer. We settled in line thinking it must move very fast once it started cos the game started in less than 30 minutes, and everyone would have to get to their seats.

And then some strangeness started to dawn on me. People were carrying big shit in with them and on closer inspection it seemed to be CHAIRS, and sure enough people were sitting in line on the chairs they had dug out from their camping gear. Well fuck it! we didn't have a chair! There were some around the place, low ones and taller bar stool type ones and we and the people behind us, similarly sans seats, decided that we'd collect a couple of these on our way in, ah all settled and sorted. Until someone further up the line was outed by a chair Nazi, cos they had grabbed a couple too. He had to hand 'em back. Shit no chairs!

What sort of place was this?

So now it was about 5.55, and still noone was going in. The fellas in front of us, sitting in their big flash smart arse fold up lounge chairs were having an argument about legalising medical marijuana. They were big blokes, really big blokes and I was pleased that they were sitting cos if they got all riled up I reckon some blood would have been spilt. Instead they just did a lot of pointing with their smart phones and raised their considerable voices a bit. Perhaps this was their vocal warm up for the game.

And still the bloody doors, well ropes really weren't open.

Finally my irritation at the obvious poor time keeping bubbled up and I asked someone important looking. 'Yeh - No. Game starts at 7'

So we were faced with another hour standing, before more standing to watch the game.

Fuck that! I was already dead on my feet. We had been walking since Thursday and I was buggered.

Roller Derby patrons be warned, bring your own fucking chairs and be prepared to line up like cows to the slaughter for far too long cos time keeping is flexible.

So bugger it! no Adelaide sporting event for Stevie.