Wednesday, 6 April 2016

E is for Equestrian Entertainment

When my Lovely girl was but a wee lass, she went Horse riding,,,,,,,She was a natural, she looked like she was born on the back of one of these great big fellas, Yeh I know what an uncomfortable image that makes! I loved watching her, she had such an ease and confidence and grace. So much so that occasionally I was talked into having a go myself. It might have been that the instructor was a bit keen on getting into a certain single mum's knicky-noos, or that he was just keen to make a family day of it, instead of leaving me sit in the car enjoying an afternoon of peace and quiet.

But whatever the motivation I had my first 'go'. I was a skinny agile youngster of about 32, and even so the mounting was about as ugly and arse presenting encounter as you can imagine. It looks so easy huh? Stick your foot into the stirrup thing and grab the nobbly bit on the saddle and just go the big swing, and voila there's your bum in place and you're looking Olympic dressage ready, but not for me. I was left hanging upside down and calling for help. The cynic would reckon the instructor was only a little too eager to come to the damsel's aide as we tried again and his hands slid to where they should not have been, but it was all very effective cos I moved quickly to get away and I was up and going. The next time I stood on a box and he kept his hands a little more to himself. The riding was calm and serene...yep no galloping for me, just a stroll....ah very nice.

I do love watching a horse run about. Bloody beautiful creatures.

Our Pommie visitor is ready for the off today, and so last night we took him off to 'The Outback Spectacular'. We had taken other poms some years ago and liked it so thought it worth another visit.

There is quite a lot about this place that gives me the shits, the up selling, the pushy vendors, the thwarted promises of free-flowing beer, the time keeping, the irritating contrived competitions and audience participation, but if you can get passed all that, then it's pretty terrific. The food is ok and the set-up is an effective way of serving great swags of folk in lickety-split time.

But the very best part of it is the HORSES and last night they featured a couple of very clever Kelpies as well. I was not disappointed! All the shit sort of gets flushed away as soon as the first gorgeous horses make their first appearance. I could do without the lame attempts at cobbling together a story which allows them to recycle the helicopter and the jeeps and cars and the acrobats, but I was happy to wait out the crap to get to the HORSES and the DOGS.

It's not cheap, $100 a ticket, and if you don't fancy horses this place is not for you, cos they are definitely the silver lining amid some pretty big irrritations.

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