Tuesday, 15 March 2016

The Internet is not making me LAZY.



Sure I am definitely rounder than I was before I had any Internet. I can no longer run miles or bicycle up hill and down dale, or play multiple games of netball, or run after my girl or chase down a fleeing kid on a mission to destroy, and I am pretty sure that the days of standing on a plastic chair on a table so at full tilt I can paint my ceiling, are done and dusted.

And yes I clearly recall days of, 'What does that mean? Where is that? How does that work?' and heaving arse out of the chair to grab the relevant encyclopedia and doing some forearm curls with the whalloping book to find the answers, and yeh I agree they were all too often already out of date.

I remember planning holidays by just phoning an agent and just taking their say-so, just parting with the cash and just hoping for the best.

At the ripe old age of 19 when I got hitched, we planned our honeymoon in just that fashion. My lovely Dad said that he thought Nambucca Heads might be nice - he might have been having the last laugh, so we rang and booked a place. We drove all bloody day to get there on a sunday evening. The whole town was empty and closed up tighter than a drum. The agent was finally roused and keys were sorted and we moved into our first place together....ahhhh bliss. Except that as we walked into the flat we were a little disappointed. It was up a rickety staircase at the back of a real estate office, looking out to nothing. It was pretty dark and gloomy and a bit small and it took only seconds for our bare legs to attract the literally millions of fleas that had been laying in wait in the carpet for a good old snack. Bloody grim barely describes. No shops open, no place for dinner, no can of Baygon for the fleas, but we were young and married so we wiped of the fleas before diving into bed cos 'tomorrow is another day'

I have spent days online planning Steve's birthday holiday. I found a couple to look after home and Dog. We scrubbed the house top to bottom so when they popped over they didn't think we were filthy scum and so we hope they will run a broom over the place while we are away. It was so much easier in time gone just to call and book your pet into a pet motel and drop 'em off. Easier but not OK for Dog - not anymore cos there are so many other options and yeh she is a spoilt old thing.

 I found the flights easily enough, only a morning of searching for the right times, even if ultimately I had to get my head around going anticlockwise instead of clockwise. During my search I was up and down like a whore's drawers to get drinks and travel books and print outs. I could have called an agent and did so in the end, but only because I want a few extra days to get myself sorted.

But the biggest time consumer is finding the accommodation, perhaps cos the memory of those fleas is still very raw, and so I am perhaps more picky than I might otherwise be. So I have trawled for days looking at every website I could find and that sure is a lot, and then I started calling people. Inevitably I would be at the wrong end of the house when my phone would ring for call backs and so I been dashing from end to end grabbing at it sometimes breathlessly. These bookings have been quite the fitness regime. I have peaked into more bedrooms than the local peeping tom and it is amazing just how quickly places are discounted - too dark, too small, shit furniture, no bath, no carpark, NO WIFI. I made pages of notes and finally yesterday we both sat down and the bookings are done.

We are flying to Adelaide and then driving to the Great Ocean Road and then to Melbourne and flying home. We have a roof in Adelaide and in Melbourne but the week on the road we are winging it at the moment. I have a list of places in towns all the way along but I reckon we want to be a bit flexible with where and for how long we stay. Yeh we are gonna do that bit 'old style', making it up as we go along, except of course I do have a list.

In the pre-internet days, this would have been all done and dusted in a couple of phone calls instructing other people to do stuff, and then with all the extra time I could have been out getting sweaty. So doing it myself, online doesn't make me lazy, just cerebral not physical.

I do wonder how we will mutate. I guess our thumbs will develop more finesse and our brains and therefore heads will expand and our feet and legs might atrophy. I wonder if there will be a time when oversized noggins will be the epitome of sexiness and long lithe limbs a sign of stupid.

Anyway I don't feel lazy. I feel pretty self satisfied actually.

Now to get a list of adventures to cram into our time away.

Have you any suggestions for Adelaide and Melbourne or places to stay in between?