Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Do Artificial Colours scare you?


Autumn today! If such a thing happened here in the Goldie, it would herald the browns and oranges and the crunch of leaves underfoot. But as is well documented, no such thing exists here in the land of the perpetual stink, instead all it means to me is that the birthday month of February has come to a close and now as is too often the case, I am spending far too much time checking out poo cos I wonder if all the food colouring in the party fare is absorbed or just passes through.

I am happy to agree  that it's a strange thing to wonder about, but wondcr I do.

My girl can whip up a cake in just about any form you can think of and once upon a time the requests were pretty simple and covered in lots of chocolaty mess. But yesterday's bright bloody blue tardis might have taken the cake - sorry about that lame-o pun. The blue lingered on teeth and tongues of us all, and not cos we had chomped up a huge big chunk each.

We'd had lots of healthy meat and salad and the kids had vacuumed up some lolly water, and we'd cheered each other on over the snooker table. The kids had taught me to play hand ball in the garage - yeh very patient they were too. We had all siphoned up what seemed like gallons of water cos it was so bloody hot. Suffice to say we were all about full to pussy's bow and could only fit in a ladylike chunk.

It was delicious. I reckon it might have been the best tasting cake Belly has ever made, even if we had to dodge the straws she'd used as part of the engineering necessary to hold the tardis upright. But it was the instant BLUE which was most remarkable. We are all used to the yummo stuff she makes, but the big BLUE was new.

Now it can be no secret that there is very little artificial stuff that I won't shove in my gob, anything full of fat and sugar is fine with me, and I just don't give a shit what colour it is. All those sweeties that proudly proclaim they are artificial colourings free can only jump into my mouth if they are on sale, cos I only care about the sugar content and the price. Colourings don't scare me.

The bright blue of last night did fascinate me though. It stained fingers cos god knows no-one bothered with spoons or forks, shit I thought we did well to even pop the slices on the plates provided cos we ate it up with such gusto.

This is some serious blue stain.

If it appears anywhere else I will let you know.


Do you worry about what you pop into your gob?