The Heat in the Old Days

We have had a few days of really hot humid yukiness and I reckon that all the modern 'conveniences' are actually making it more difficult to manage.

I grew up in Brisvegas, and it got HOT HOT HOT in the summer. No I am not going into a rant about global warming, but I will say that it has always been bloody hot in the summer.

As kids we would open all the windows, run around in our togs, set up the sprinkler and go sliding through the wet grass until and after we had worn holes in the arse of our pants.

I have no memory of table fans going all night to enable me to sleep, and there certainly was no air-con.

We wore cotton clothes and sprayed ourselves with water and I guess just generally sucked it up.

Now the heat comes with dilemma after dilemma.

I am spoiled. I have a pool and air-con, and we designed the house so that the breeze would push the hot air around until it is sucked out on high. So wouldn't you think I'd have nothing at all to whinge about.

However:

Once a decision has been made to turn on the air-con, its all hands on deck cos the many windows need to closed as well as all the doors and then you need to decide which zones are gonna be given a burst and what temp seems like a good idea.

If the machine is set to rumble all night then a light coverlet is needed in case the cold creeps into your bones. Last night I started with no sheet or cover while the cool kicked in and then I pulled up a sheet and then I pulled up the cover then I got up to pee and then I got up and turned off the rumble then I got up to open the windows and then I just got up. I reckon its got to be far less trouble to spray some water onto your cotton sheets and just know you are gonna be hot. I am now sooo bloody tired and hot and irritable that I might have to go and float around the pool.

Except that the shade has not hit it yet and the feeling of all that sun cream is a bit yukky, and its a bit early to go in in bra and knickers ( I feel a certain obligation to protect the retinas of the neighbours and the people in the park) so that mean Togs are in order, but the sweat trickle has stuck my dress to my back and getting into said togs requires an Olympic tugging effort of at least 2 or 3 people. So the cool allure of the pool is problematic... see how spoiled a girl can be.

I don't enjoy the rumble or the smell of the air-con so during the day all the windows and doors are flung wide, except the garage door which is a battle point between Steve and I. I like it open he likes it closed so it is a bit up and down like a whore's drawers.

But the heat this time is being delivered courtesy of the stinky northerly breeze which is blowing a gale but bringing no relief. Everything needs to anchored down or it blows around like an indoor tornado.

The truly odd side effect of this moving air, is that the fire alarms are being set off, so a ladder is required to remove the battery and there we have another sweaty stinky task, not required in the 70's.

So this is the problems of heat survival in 2014

• water restrictions mean no more sprinkler action.
• ozone leaking sunburn means pool action is kept for late afternoon.
• the open window / door policy causes the ongoing shrill beeps of the fire alarms which Dog finds terrifying so there is a very real trip threat involved in the chicken high stepping  around her as she runs between my legs for comfort.
• the air-con has robbed me of sleep so I am cranky and I doubt I would be any more cranky if I was just hot.

Oh for the simplicity of the 70s.