Monday, 21 December 2015


The Big House is NOT playing host to the little family after all this year. Circumstances and kumquats have conspired to leave the festivities to Stevie and Dog and me.

So yes that's a pisser but the champagne flute being half full, it means that we can please ourselves without any compromise.

I am off with my very much shorter food shopping list on Wednesday.  The diet of sorts is gonna be chucked out the window and we will have any damn thing we please. Stevie has already stocked up the fridge with a lovely bottle of plonk and and I plan to be slurping the 'french stuff' morning noon and night. Yummo!

It's all a bit silly really, but what we have a hankering for is roast pork with crackling and the full range of roast veg, cos the veg has been on the banned list of the no carbs high protein formula. I am salivating just thinking about downing half a dozen of Stevie's roast spuds, yeh he cooks so I will be the one with my feet up, calling instructions for glass fillage from the pool. I am very much looking forward to it.

AN early pressie was delivered today from the cheery Dr Greg, who told us that the poison was doing a mighty job and had kicked the shit out of the platelet count and the number of mutant white cells had been given a good shoeing too.

Stevie had decided that if the number was anything at all less than the original 80 (11 is the high end of ok), he was gonna be happy, cos that was an improvement, but me, well I am a high achiever and I had decided that I wanted a score of 42 - an arbitrary number I picked out of my arse. (I think secretly Stevie was hoping for much better than 80, but he was just priming me in case of disappointment.)

So Dr smiley, did his best to open with usual small talk, but I just wanted the number. THIRTY FUCKING SIX. Now that's what I call excellent poison!

There is still quite a long way to go, but he reckons in a year or so all those fucking Philadelphia white cells should have been killed off. He was calmly positive about this. Of course I had to push it and ask if his initial prognosis of poison for life might be adjusted, but he said that people who have managed to get back to normal figures with no mutant white cells, who stopped taking the poison almost always relapsed almost immediately. 'So get used to it girl, suck it up,' I chanted to myself.

So I have already had my chrissy present. Yeh it came early and I don't usually count anything before the day as a real pressie, but this one is gonna be the exception.

Reckon Stevie was pretty excited too. Can't be easy for anyone to lurch from one bit of illness to another, especially when there is no control. He's a good boy really, just rocking along with it and learning to make the most irreverent jokes cos that's the way I like it.

I hope that everyone has all their shit sorted for a wonderful chrissie and for those that don't celebrate it at all, well I hope the break is peaceful and full of food anyway.

Here's cheers.

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