Friday, 8 August 2014

More GCCC crappola.

The training process for GCCC customer services staff.

( Of course the initial 3 days would have covered Elf and Safety gems about not hanging yourself with the headset cords and how to operate the toilet, where to go if there is a fire and which forms to fill out to claim compo if there is a fall even if it was a result of human stupidity.)

Trainer:   Here's your headsets, pop 'em on and turn up the sound

Joanne:    Yes master!

Trainer:   If the phone rings push the delay button which will play some recorded bollocks to the     caller.

Joanne:    Yes master.

Trainer:   If the caller has shown tenacity and is still on the line after 10 minutes of bollocks they are dangerous. Under no circumstances give them any information.

Joanne:    Yes master.

Trainer:    Do NOT think for yourself. Do NOT even attempt to be helpful and under NO circumstances are you permitted to tell them your NAME.

Joanne:    Yes master.

Trainer:    If at anytime the caller is asking for specific information chant, 'I am not obliged to tell you that.' Let's try that together.

Trainer and Joanne chanting together. 'I am not obliged to tell you that, I am not permitted to tell you my name.'

Trainer:  Remember that the less helpful you are the more council workers we can have, so one day maybe we can take over the world... Fill the world with mindless useless drones on full pay so that the rates money can all be eaten up paying ourselves and then no services will be provided so there will be no cause for any of these people to ever ring again. Oh what a wonderful world that would be!.

There are high 5s everywhere and Joanne is sent off to man the phones.

Today I spoke to the 'lovely' Joanne from GCCC customer services, who uttered the most amazing, appalling words, " I am not permitted to tell you my surname." She was not OBLIGED to explain the hierarchy of positions in the Animal management section of the council, but apparently she was not PERMITTED to tell me her name.

I cannot even imagine my reaction if I was ever told that I was not PERMITTED to say my name. 

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