Monday, 4 August 2014

Botox for Migraine.....sheeeeit!!




I am not know for keeping my suffering of migraines under wraps. I seem to have spent years whinging!! I reckon I had tried about everything, including some rather odd concoctions and weekly pummelling to the shoulders and neck which used to leave me weak and crying. I only just pulled up short of leeches and injections of cow shit. When I read about the Botox option I thought YIPPEE.

AS with any new idea, there are hoops to be hoolaed and so they were. Today was the big day. All the obstacles were covered and I was off for my bit of Botox.

Once the paper work was filled in - you know the sort of government shit one has to endure - Stat Dec to say that I had tried everything and that my desire for Botox was not driven by a vain choice to remove wrinkles and the ability to express surprise, the Doctor began to outline the possible downsides of the stuff. Well the possible side effects didn't really bear thinking about, and I was having trouble keeping calm just considering the 31 - yeh THIRTY ONE! injections. I looked at the picture and diagram on the wall and breathed deeply and wriggled my toes.

I did not exactly leap onto the table / bed thing.

She's not much for conversation this Doctor. She just started sticking me. The forehead was first. She asked me how many I reckoned she was up to. I said 9. She apologised and said only 7. Shit shit shit!

I turned my head and she started up in my hair. Well that fucking hurt!! I just kept breathing and wriggling my toes. Other side of my head, same result!! The first side was bleeding and she asked me to put pressure on it and sit up and climb off the table while spreadeagling some medical expensive looking machinery. Dainty I was not!

Sitting in a chair now and she attacked the back of my skull. The first one really hurt and I was told later by the receptionist that I did shout out SHIT and that the others in the waiting room heard me clearly. Good to know that there had been no impact on my vocal cords.

Stab stab stab. And then she came to the shoulders. She told me that these needles do hurt, cos they are like any normal injections. She was right.

Now I am crossing my fingers and hoping that I am part of the 70% of people who react well to all this abuse.

I told Steve about it when I got home and he just shook his head and said he didn't know how I could even think about going back in 3 months for another crack, and then it dawned on him that if 20 minutes of this shit is better than the migraine, then the fucking headaches must be truly shitful.

20 minutes of yuko instead of days and days of the other, is a trade I am happy to make.