Thursday, 15 May 2014

Gym for Geriatrics



Yep, We did it!! We joined up today!! And had our Intro session with the lovely, fit Johnny for whom I am pretty sure, we could have been the oddest couple he has ever had to devise a programme for. My knees are buggered, so I can't bend both of 'em well enough to fit into some of the machines and I am too wide for others, and Steve won't do anything that requires lying on the floor amid other people's piss and sweat, and if I actually manage to lever myself onto the floor, there is even less chance of me ever getting back up again without the aid of a crane or a pulley system attached to one of the machines. Johnny was pleased that generally speaking Steve and I are the same height so only one adjustment to the machines was necessary, except for the weights, cos of course I am a girlie and Steve is a big tough bloke.

Steve managed to negotiate a 3 month contract instead of the usual year long nightmare, so that if we don't go as often as we should or could or might, then we don't have to feel too guilty for too long.

I am planning to go to the pool for a class tomorrow morning at some silly o'clock and then maybe if I am still vertical have a little turn on some of the playground equipment with Steve when he gets there a bit later. They have a free breakfast offer going between 7 and 10.30am, but I expect that it will be mostly straw and fat free milk. I asked if eggs Benedict was on the menu and was greeted with a chortle.

So Steve is resplendent we called in to get new shoes and shorts. And he very much looks the part! While he was getting changed and going through his selection, I was lucky enough to have time for a real close inspection of those shorts for men with the attached underpants. What a fucking awful idea!! Really I felt more than a little ill at the very thought that I had just spent time sticking my hand into the never never where strangers' bollocks had been trussed and the idea of foreign skid marks left me weak at the knees and not in a good way. Who the bloody hell ever came up with this. Maybe it's just to save bachelors from additional washing. If Steve knew what it was all about he wasn't sharing cos my face just made it very clear that those undie type shorts were NOT coming to the big house. Oooooh YUK!! Really some mystery needs to be maintained, cos now when I see a bloke at the gym I will be wondering about the effective laundering of those awful items.

If you have any clues about how to maintain a gym work ethic please let us know. I would like to think that we can manage at least 3 months but reckon both Steve and I are pretty quick to come up with plausible excuses, so help may well be needed.