Saturday, 25 April 2015

I'd make a shithouse ANZAC

It's definitely been a day of reflection. I have had my nose stick in and google and the tellie's been on so I have seen all the services. It might have been guilt that sent me here, cos I wanted to get up for the dawn service, I even set the alarm for 4.18am, but as it happened I wanted sleep more. What a lazy cow I am.

So I have had plenty of time to think about those brave souls who went forth in our name to ensure we can live the slothful carefree lives we do.

My Pop was not fully grown and needed a letter from his Mum to enlist in the First War, and then fronted up again as a fully fledged adult with a wife and kids for the second one.

There must be a lot of truth to the theory that there is a strong sense in invincibility in young men. How else can you explain that so many of 'em fronted up without coercion to put their lives on the line. They must have bought into the romance and the patriotism in a way that completely eludes me.

So why would I have made a shithouse ANZAC? Well let's see:

I am bone lazy.
I almost never do as I am told.
On receipt of 'Orders' my first reaction is to always ask WHY?
I don't like mud even as a part of a luxury facial.
Dehydrated and canned food do not sound appealing, although the weight loss spin offs would be welcome.
Uniforms are just an excuse to wear something additional and odd to piss people off.

But perhaps most importantly I AM A FUCKING COWARD.

I have long had dreams about house invasions or robberies where I lie perfectly still pretending to be dead so the bad guys leave me alone. Not once have I imagined myself fighting back.

It's taken Steve more than a decade to teach me how to make a fist to punch someone without doing any damage to myself, and still I have to think about where I should put my thumb long enough to give the prospective punchee  more than enough time to flatten me. And I've never actually hit anyone. Oh I elbowed a girl in the guts once in Netball, but I felt so bad about it that for the rest of the game she really just had free run of the circle.

I know I would not be able to be noble and sacrifice myself for a mate. I know if an order came through to 'Go over the top', I be doing a Blackadder and find a reason not to. I don't like doing as I am told, but mostly I AM A FUCKING COWARD.

I have disagreed with our troops being deployed to fight wars that I believe we should stay well out off, but that is politics and has no bearing on my admiration and awe of the brave souls who pull on those mostly unattractive uniforms and boots that weigh more than their legs and who stand shoulder to shoulder with their mates all too often to the death.

It's hard to be Australian and not be proud of our soldiers and the roles they have played in forging our world wide reputation, of 'don't fuck with me and my mates.'


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