Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Lacking a Filter

Me, yeh I am lacking a filter, not my car, though it could be too, cos I have no idea about what's under the bonnet.

A mate of mine sent me this cartoon this morning and I wondered if it was gonna become a forewarned explanation or apology of something he was gonna do, or maybe he was just reminding me that I should flick the filter button from time to time to see if it still works and maybe keep myself out of trouble.

There is no doubt that all too often my mouth is in fast forward and my brain is running a very poor second.

Poor old Dr Angus last week was the latest to be swamped by the gutter pourings, when he teased me about having to see him sometime soon for a new hip or 2. 'Fuck Off! ' flew out and I admit that I was embarrassed enough to pretend that someone else must have said it. He was a little taken aback but I suppose he has heard worse, perhaps just not from a 50 something woman having a bad hair day and wielding a crutch.

I reckon there would be far less room for ambiguity if we all just said what we thought when we thought it.

"Does my arse look big in this?"
"Yes, you know it does otherwise you wouldn't have asked. Stop asking me these shitful questions."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Ab-sofucking-lutely not. I am happy to juggle 3 kids and a trolley load of groceries  and manoeuvre around your little party of texting maniacs." Yeh you might have noticed this is the filter in action. No filter would be, " Get the fuck out my way you cock with a text problem."

"Would you  mind if I just jumped the cue?"
"Mind? I'd be fucking furious! Wait your turn like everyone else."

It is obvious that things could get very hairy indeed if filters were phased out, but no one would die wondering where they stood, and that couldn't be all bad.