Monday, 16 June 2014

Corporate Name Badges



Hands up if every time you say your name you have to stop and sensor yourself, for fear that someone will run off and do a quick google search or use an old phone book to hunt you down like a dog and harass you at your home over a balmy weekend, maybe catch you out wearing mismatched socks and grubby track pants and no bra. Maybe they will make fun of your shit weekend hair or steal your junk mail. Oh really I have no fucking clue what they might do, cos I just cannot walk a mile in the shoes of some crazy who would bother with this sort of nutty carry on and so No I have never worried about telling people my name.

I am not a fan of those coffee places where they yell out your name for the whole of the shopping centre to hear when your skinny cap double shot is ready. But that is a preference thing not a paranoid, 'Bugger me, someone might hear my name and call me up and try to sell me aluminium siding.' thing.

As a kid, pay phones were the way of the future, push button A push, button B and all that shit, I admit that I was occasionally guilty of making silly calls to no one at all in particular. I am sure you know the ones.

Is Mr Wall there?
NO
Is Mrs Wall there?
No
Are there any Walls there?
No
Well what's holding up the roof??

Oh yeh very funny!

All very silly and only if any of us goof balls had a 5 cent piece or was it 10 cents? A rumour went round that if you dialled and spoke loudly into the other end of the handset that you could make a call with no money, of course that was bollocks too, but there'd be 10 kids in a phone box all yelling and laughing  and generally having a silly time - all this in good fun in between running amuck on the streets, barefoot, on a variety of bikes and scooters.

I never thought to call up a teacher. I never thought to even look one up in the phone book. In 30 years of teaching I did not once get a call at home from an angry kid or parent. They all knew my name and if not my actual home address they knew roughly the suburb where I lived and so it would have taken very little trouble to be nuisance.

I didn't get any shit letters and was never aware at least of kids or parents stalking around my house, or throwing rotten eggs or doing other mean things.

I imagine that's cos I did a pretty good job and I like to think that when issues arose and of course they did we all came together and dealt with 'em and then moved on. I don't reckon I left too much stewing and certainly not enough to encourage someone to want to do harm to me or Bell or my house or even be a pest.

So how does it come about that Lester, an Animal Control Officer at GCCC can't give me his boss's name, 'In case you look it up in the white pages and make a nuisance of yourself on the weekend.'

How does one even begin to make an argument against this?

I have to believe that the psychology behind name badges which show ONLY first names is not to ensure that the workers are saved harassment at home on the weekends if they do a shit job. Surely it is to promote a friendly collegiate environment where people will smile and treat everyone kindly.

First names only at GCCC is a pathetic defence measure. Or maybe it is not a commonly held policy. Maybe Lester of the, 'I am not obliged to tell you that.' is using this as a way of keeping me at arms length.

I am off to find Lester's boss, no not at his/her house, just at the office.