Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Job Hunting - oh Dear.




Ok, Hands up if you have ever been unemployed. I remember the days of looking for a vacancy in the paper, making a call from the pay phone down the road, making an appointment, typing up a resume, tarting myself up and heading off for the interview.

I remember applying for jobs online and following a the self same old style pattern, leading to an interview similarly tarted up, sometimes I even wore closed in shoes and remembered to spit out the gum.

But now, now the government has become heavily invested in the gallant art of empowering people into work.

Now you go to ‘sign on’ and are allocated to an agency which will help you to write a CV, apply for appropriate jobs, tell you what to wear, coach you on how to lie to prospective employers, insist that you jump through all the hoops that have been designed for them to prove they have met their KPIs ( no idea either, it is government speak for Key Performance Indicators) so they can keep their jobs but in reality will not help you find a job at all.

These agencies also seem to vary. Some I guess are aimed at helping bright able people find work after redundancy has reared its ugly head. The vacancies listed would most certainly match the expected clientele. However some agencies are aiming to place all manner of parolee, jail jumpers, and deros. The vacancies they drum up also seem to reflect their clientele.

Now wouldn’t it be a bugger if the dick at the sign on office sent you to the wrong agency. Imagine trying to find a job after your 2 year contract was cancelled, when you are sent off to the jail folk agency. The jobs are things like dish pig or car washer, things where the worker cannot access anything worth stealing and where if they don’t show up on time or indeed at all, there are no major ramifications. Noone is gonna die cos the cars aren’t washed after all.

And still you are so keen to get a job so you can afford to pay the bills that you jump through all the hoops, suck it up when idiots tell you what to do, try not to be too judgemental at ‘JOB CLUB’ when you are surrounded by said parolees, though you do admit to keeping a close eye on your handbag and mobile phone.

The first contact between you and the prospective employer is through the agency staff who are barely literate and do not seem to have a clue about how to best present you. Their letters of introduction are at best poorly worded and at worst outline all your ’problems’. It seems that contrary to legislation the staff find it necessary to divulge marital status etc and point out that this is consider to be part of your problem.

Now I imagine that it would make sense that the ‘good job’ agencies are staffed by better people, tho I don’t know if this is true. But I do know that the staff at the agency for jail birds are RUBBISH.

I have been lucky enough today to sit in with Belly as she tried to organise a job interview for tomorrow. The staff were either sweet and ineffectual – Hopeless Hannah or just bloody aggressive mean spirited and inarticulate - cruel Christine. The bully Christine was not amused when I pointed out just how aggressive she was and the effect it was having on Bell. She just continued to rant on and on and was even less than happy when I pointed out that Bell’s marital status was of no one’s business and that her role of mother was hardly a ‘problem’, and in any case perhaps best not mentioned in an initial contact. She simply ignored the references to the shit wording of the email introduction.

I hope that it is not the reality, but maybe the people offering these shit jobs to deros do not put too much store in the written word and just want a warm body to do the grunt work.

Anyway it took all day - 4 visits! Both Hannah and cruel Christine seemed thrilled that they had organised an interview for tomorrow – that is 2 in 8 weeks!! Belly has used the old fashioned approach and has been on many interviews in this time but the agency has been good for 1 so far and another tomorrow. And whilst it is possible to change to another agency, the move would be tainted because it would appear the jail bird place has had enough of her and given her the finger!

I fail to see how anyone thinks this is a useful approach to unemployment. It is expensive and appallingly ineffective. It is demoralising especially when you think that this place is staffed by fools and bullies. How is it possible for these people to have a cushie government job and Belly is applying for dish pig jobs.

I know I sound like a grumpy old woman, but I just cannot work it out.