Friday, 13 January 2017

Timezone and traffic.




It used to be called GRUNDIES.

I don't know why.

I can't remember if it was air conditioned or if indeed I even felt the heat way back when we would visit this place with my lovely Dad or years later with my girl in tow. Maybe that is the clear and absolute evidence of global warming NAY sayers need. 40 years ago the heat was not a consideration of anything at all, and now this grumpy sweating old cow looks for that tell tale sign of dripping condensation which slides down the walls and windows yelling, 'The air is cold, so come on in.'

Now I reckon, the biggest attraction of Grundies AKA Timezone, is that the cold air is pumped out and if you stayed long enough a light cardie might be in order. Yep in this stinking heat this place is a god send.

The Grandie boy was due a treat. Yeh I know I reckon he is always due a treat, but that's cos he is the embodiment of all things treatie. Anyway a couple of hours of these arcade games, shoot 'em up, slam into 'em was in order, and I was not unhappy about enjoying the cold cold cold. Yummo.

As a Goldie Local, I do not often venture into Surfers Paradise. I can sort of see how visitors might be enamoured with the shit shops and the bars and the cafes and the touts selling tickets to all manner of attractions and tourist rip offs and of course the beach. But you know what, I can live without it.

We parked up and paid the maximum 2 hours - $7.20 I think it was and wandered over to the place.

Not surprisingly, we were early.

But we were first in line when it opened and we bought the swipe card and off he went to find his very favourite games.

I remember a more carnival atmosphere cos the games were manned by folk taking your money and if you won you got a toy or some piece of shit and years later maybe a handful of tickets that you could trade in for a piece of shit at the shit shop. My lovely Dad did like collecting those tickets!

But now it's all done with a swipe.

2 Hour cards give you a variety of stuff, 12 Red games - ticket winners - points make prizes, unlimited yellow games, and blessed be, these were Zig's choice and Dodgems and a Lazer force game which he said was very lame cos it was too early and so there were too few targets, and putt putt golf.

Well I started off like a good grandma. I watched him shoot the shit of stuff and then had to pop on my feministo hat and ask him what all that girlie posing bullshit was all about at the end of the shoot the bull game. I mean really what is that about? Why do kids need to have pole dancing girls celebrating the end of a shoot up?

What the very fuck is this about?


The lights and the conflicting noises seeped into my psyche and suddenly I needed to escape. Luckily we had already identified a meet up spot so I nicked off for a coffee and he continued on his spree of killing stuff and driving all manner of vehicles too quickly.

I found him again before his time was up and we played some of those old fashioned games together. He smashed some thing down with a gianormous hammer and we did target practice with cannons and I was shit and he was fabulous and then time had evapourated and he needed to cash in his swipey tickets and he came home with a whistle. Ah bloody marvelous and we made it back to the car with seconds to spare.

So this is this was the formula. Arrive at 8.30am. Park up and pay for 2 hours starting at 9am. Get a 2 hour ticket at Time Zone and then high tail it back to the car before the traffic warden arrives. Yep we were a well oiled machine.  

Until that is we were driving back to Brisvegas and came to an absolute dead stop on the M1.

When we could, we went off grid and he used my phone map and gave excellent directions.

2 and a half hours for a 50 minute trip.

My legs were sponge when we pulled up.

Next car is gonna be an auto.