Innocuous little bottle of poison
If you have a close look you can see what a bargain I am getting! $37.70 instead of 5000 bucks. That's some lucky discount.
I have been dutifully downing the poison for a month now and the results have been bloody remarkable. The scores are fabulous and I head off for some new ones on Friday. All's well with the world - or at least you'd think so.
I am not a routine whinger. There is very little point in carrying on about shit that you can't change. I am more of a suck it up and carry on sort of gal.
The list of side effects from this DASATINIB is pretty long, and I wasn't interested in it so had tucked it away, figuring that if I read something, I might get it. Fuck knows about the only part of my body that works reliably is my head and it can conjure up all sorts of madness, and the side effect madness I could do without.
But yesterday as I wafted my fingers finely over my forehead and felt for the millionth time all the little lumps and bumps, I was tempted to see if Stevie could feel 'em too. So I asked him to close his eyes and gently have a little feel up, no not in a sexy lazy Saturday afternoon kinda way, in a Doctor check me out kinda way and that is not sexy at all.
Well the lumps are real, cos he can feel 'em too, so we got the fucking books out and had a look.
There is a long list and as I am a glass half full girl, I can tell you I am pleased that I am not chucking up like a fountain. Yippee for that. The poison I took in my 30s was truly awful and I spent a great deal of time driving the big white bus and calling for Haaaarold, so the lack of chunder is a delight.
But that's about where I could end the crossing offs.
I often awake with a headache that forces me out of bed cos being vertical and a handfull of pills seems to help. Of course I am lucky cos these are only mild little irritation naggy aches, nothing like a walloping migraine, so I am really lucky. Sometimes I have to take pills on a rotation during the day and sometimes the early morning dose does the trick. And the Advil was sale at Woolies this week so lucky again.
I've had a strange mouth for a few weeks, - some people would say potty and forever, but it's not too bad and I can still taste food and chew it all up so who's gonna complain about that. The books say ulcers, and all I have is sort of constant scalding like you have slurped up some too hot coffee, so not painful, just odd.
There is a scary bit about bloating up like the Michelin Man and fluid getting stuck in your lungs and around your heart and your eyes and making you eye balls bleed, but thankfully I only skimmed that bit cos FUCKING HELL... bleeding eye balls!!
And then there's the quite long bit about skin irritations which is what sent us to the books in the the first place.
Yep there it was. Old lady crepey thin skin prone to tearing - fuck that! and dryness and itching. So I am now just a fucking statistic. Ho hum.
My body is running hot, again not in a good way, and so the itchy is a bit more irritating than it might be if I was sitting naked in an igloo, ah that sounds like a good birthday present request.
And there might be other stuff in the books but I stopped reading when I got to the only fucking side effect that I haven't got that I'd quite like to have and that is WEIGHT LOSS. Nope, haven't lost an ounce, unless I can start weighing my hair strands which are jumping out too regularly for my liking.
Maybe the only weight loss that happens is because of the chunders, so fat and chowing down is gonna be the way of the world, how very fucking ho hum.
Off to the doctor to see about something to stop the itching and hopefully it smells better than Pintarsol cos that shit stinks and if I have to use that I will never get lucky again.