Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Sex on a First Date?

Do you reckon TV land is ever gonna cover dating of Old Folk?


I fell into 'Married at First Sight' last night.

I think it's an interesting sort of experiment that of course has been practised in one form or another for - well probably forever. The arrangers might have changed but the random coupling of people thrown together to form a family, well this is not new.

The folk who have signed up for the show, I suppose all have their own motives. Some maybe just want to get their faces on the Tellie, cos they rather fancy the chance of media fame or maybe a shot at a role in 'Home and Away' or 'Neighbours', or 'I'm a Celebrity', but at least outwardly they all say they are looking for love, THE one, their one true and final forever soul mate.

And you know what, I really do wish 'em well.

They sound like they have all had a red hot go at the usual dating methods. Nah not only the ones I remember: getting pissed at the pub and falling over someone and then weeks later maybe getting a phone call if they can remember your name and the number correctly and you happen to be home when they call, or answering an ad in the newspaper and calling up and leaving a message on some random answer phone. Nope, they have all done some internet searching and swiped right or left on Tinder - yeh I say that like I know what I am talking about but really it's just spewing the remembered jargon from too much time watching reality TV.

But what I wondered last night, as these fabulously pretty skinny folk coupled up, was what chance is there for similarly desperate blimpy plain old codgers. And I thanked my lucky stars that I know for absolutely certain that I will never never have to face this sort of shit again. Never am I gonna have to style up for a Tinder photos and spend time swiping away.

Stevie and I almost literally fell over each other the day in 2003 when England won the Rugby World Cup. We weren't on the hunt, we weren't madly horny, we didn't want to manipulate a visa extension or dual nationality, and more than likely we'd never have met at all if the Aussie boys had cracked a win. But meet we did and that was it really.

This morning after I had managed a more thorough detailing of yesterday's breast squishing results, which weren't clean and clear, and I had typically gone off on one about how I'd be all very Angelina cavalier about getting 'em both lopped off, but I wasn't gonna front up for more tests right away, well, cos I just don't want to, he said, ' Ok, but it'd be nice if you were still around in 15 or 20 years.'

Well how sweet is that!

We aren't a sentimental pair.

We just rub along, preferring to be together than on our own, and in my case at least, on my own is the only other option, cos chasing someone else down is just never gonna happen.

I am not sure if the psychologists from 'Married at First Sight' would have matched us up, but I am very glad that serendipity did.

MWAHHH Mr P.

Go on, take a second to say how you met your mate.