Thursday, 22 September 2016

International CML Day... well who knew?

This is as close as I can come to the Orange Ribbon for CML Day

Yep I got wind of the CML day via my Facie feed, cos I drop in and out on a variety of CML forums and the DAY was discussed there, otherwise, rightly I would have known nothing about it. I mean there are just soo many of these fucking DAYS these days aren't there?

If we all had a ribbon for every day in every colour, well we'd be able to decorate a huge number of gay wedding arches, except that argument is still stupidly raging...ho hum. Anyway someone in their wisdom decided that CML DAY would be an orange ribbon, and I reckon this is a little misguided, cos no-one looks good in that burnt orange, baby shit colour, and that's why prisoners in movies, all wear orange jumpsuits cos no-one else ever wanted to buy that fabric. But regardless of my disdain for the hue, ORANGE it is.

Not that it has made any difference to me today cos it's been hectic in the Big House.

I have a girlfriend who has been feeding me for more years than either of us probably want to tally up. She's a wonderful cook and can whip up just about anything she sets her heart on and happily accommodates my little peccadilloes, like not eating any chilli even though that's one of the favourite household ingredients and not wanting food to touch on the plate, so stuff is served up separately in different bowls and we all help ourselves. The food is always a big part of the celebration of actually teeing up calendars for long overdue drinks and gossip fests.

Anyway, usually she says not to bring anything and that might be because she's ever so slightly a control freak or maybe it's because she is more than a little aware of my kitchen expertise or lack thereof. But in prep for the 'Crackers' on Saturday night, I gave her not much choice and said I would bring either nibbles or pudding. Pudding was agreed.

And then I just about shit myself, cos I am not a pudding baker/chef/cook. When people come for dinner here I usually just buy something in cos I reckon the other cooking counts. But taking up something 'store bought' seemed like such a cop out, especially given the mountain of food she has made for my tummy over time.

There's one Gluten free person coming along, and so I figured some meringue concoction would be good. I have almost mastered the meringues so I set to it. I thought I'd pipe 'em to make 'em look pretty. And I was just about to slop the stuff into the bag when the House Agent Bloke ( HAB ) rang to say he was bringing someone through in an hour. FARRRRRKKKKK!

Piping and slopping and spilling and shoving in the oven as fast as I could, cos I reckoned the house was gonna take an hour of running and juzzzing and it bloody did. Sweat happened.

I am pleased I remembered to turn the oven off, but if I am honest the little sweeties look pretty shit and I am not sure they are gonna make the cut. Fuck it.

Yeh they look a bit oopsie, but they taste good. 

So then the person came and looked and who knows how that went, and I thought maybe some coconut macaroons might be nice, even though I have never made one in my life. Yeh I have eaten many times my body weight of 'em but as it turns out that's the easy part.

I followed the recipe - which I never do and ended up with a fucking great mess and then the tireds hit me and I wanted to have a little cry.

But it's CML International Day and I am so much better than lots of folk so I sucked it up and had another go. This time intuition played a part and they look pretty good. I reckon I might drip some dark choccie on 'em and call 'em done.

The is the first mess. Stevie reckons they taste ok even if they look a bit mutanty.
Not too bad .

And then after a little sit down, I figured I had some cheesecakes left in me and ran over to the village for the stuff and got cracking. They don't look as lovely as I had hoped, but I think they taste good and I might top 'em with a strawberry, except that I will leave some plain cos fruit and veg are an issue for my friend.

Yeh OK, then,  but now they are all a bit flatter, Do cheesecakes always sort of shrink like poorly laundered wool jumpers?

I have cleaned down the kitchen 4 times today but the last time it was a rudimentary wipe at best, it's certainly not inspection ready.

I am rooted.

And I have resisted, wearing or cooking or eating anything that bilious CML orange.

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