Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Who are you gonna call?

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Imagine a quiet night in on a Sunday. Your hubby has cooked a delicious roast dinner and the table is set and the wine is poured and then all hell breaks loose. What would you do?

Yes it's be ok to turn off all the lights and have a little curtain twitch to see if Armageddon is marching down the road.

Yes it'd be OK to close all your windows and doors and turn you own music up a notch, sit your arse down and tuck in.

Yes it's be OK to assume that the noise will stop soon.

Yes it would be OK to call the police especially as the noise is coming from a party house a street and a canal away and they have been at this before and the only thing that stops 'em is the flash of the police car lights.

It's no secret that I have been having an on going battle with the Broadbeach Police. I have been arrested twice and threatened and bullied and it will shock no-one that my details are registered with them, so you can just imagine what their reaction might be if I ring 'em to get some help. Yeh not good. This is not a wild guess or mad paranoia, cos I have tried once before and their reaction was such that I vowed not to ever bother again. I reckon my number is recognised and when I called 'em they just put me through to someone who offered no help whatsoever. Me calling the Broadbeach Police is as futile as whitewashing your fence in a hailstorm.

So Stevie called 'em last night.

Useless. They put him through to the 131444 number. Police Link. This might be something new.

If you ring 131444 you are answered by a lovely calm woman called Geraldine or Beatrice or something. She's sitting in some call centre in Brisbane. I don't think she is a copper, but she might be. She takes your details and asks if you are in any danger. If the answer is NO then I guess your request for help goes to the bottom of the pile, or is used to wipe a bum hole or maybe it's folded and folded and folded to be used to stabilse uneven table legs. Who knows what really happens.

What doesn't happen is a cop car being dispatched to shut down the noise.

So I rang 000 and they got the shits up cos it wasn't an emergency so guess what, they put me through to 131444. She took all my details and guess what happened next? NOTHING.

So 2 hours passed and Stevie rang again and I rang again and guess what happened next? NOTHING.

Stevie finally gave Broadbeach Police another go and told 'em he was gonna go around there and tell 'em to shut the fuck up all by himself. And guess what happened next? The fucking police finally did their job. And the the noise stopped.

It's a mystery as to why it takes more than 3 hours to get any police action, unless of course you are standing peacefully protesting about industrial road noise then the coppers arrive literally in minutes, like it's a murder scene or a war zone. I'd include a harmless bit of domestic violence in my list here, except that when I told Gertrude that I had heard 'FUCK OFF YOU CUNT' being yelled out and supposed that things were not wonderfully happy and genial, it made no damn difference to organising a call out at all. Yes I did hear that yelled out, if I was gonna make something up it quite possibly would have been worse.

I think that to get actual police attention in a timely manner you'd have to be a TMR employee ringing about a fat old woman taking photos, or be able to describe in detail the stabbing death in progress of, well maybe of a police officer. An average Joe Mary just wouldn't cut the mustard.

Do you remember hearing as a child that if you need help ask a Police officer? Yeh I know I have also waved that myth around with my Grandie when he was little. Sadly I am pretty sure he doesn't believe a word of it anymore.

Who can you call if you need help.... Ghostbusters?

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