Saturday, 16 September 2017

Surplus Skin



I blame every little change in my body on The meds.

This is of course ridiculous and irrational and stupid.

But it saves me wondering what the fuck is going on and consequently having to head off to the doctor to see if anything is wrong. I don't want to go to the doctor cos I am not interested in any more bad news, and I am not sure that anybody ever hears good news there, so I just don't want to go.

So the meds are to blame for everything:

  • I poo too much - The meds
  • I poo too little - The meds
  • I burst into tears watching an ad on the tellie - The meds
  • I break a nail making the bed - The meds
  • The solar lights around the pool break - The meds
  • Dog needs an operation on her leg - The meds
  • Donald Trump is a dangerous fool - The meds
  • Some people are actually gonna vote NO in the non binding opinion gathering about Gay Marriage. - The meds. 
Of course there is an upside too cos I am still here and the numbers of mutants are under control. And maybe with a small mind set alteration I could see attributing other good things to The Meds too. I am gonna work on that.

But irrationality too often seems to be the order of the day. Bugger!

So I guess there is a chance that the surplus skin on my hands is caused by something other than The meds, but I just don't want to admit to it. 

I remember my lovely Nanna's hands and they seemed also to have too much skin, so I suppose it's possible that it's just an AGE thing. BUGGER! She would say better too much skin than not enough, but then she was alive during the Wars.

Skin is a remarkable organ...biggest in the body. It stretches and shrinks all our lives, until I guess it doesn't. Maybe it just gets the shits up with accommodating a bit of extra pud and then being required to shrink cos someone went on the Israeli, only apples that have committed suicide, and bacon after 5pm, diet.

Who could blame it for getting shitty? Puberty, pregnancy, kilos over, kilos under, a cut here, a scratch there, a rash there and some acne here, too much sun, too little moisturiser. It's a lot to ask.

But now as I am looking at my hands, I wonder if there isn't something we could do with all that extra skin, maybe small purses? or we could combine a few people's surplus into a patchwork handie?

Trouble with this idea is that a chunk would have to sliced off and sent to the tanners and what would happen to that old saying, 'I know it like the back of my hand'?