Yippee Kai Ay Yippee Kai OOOOO I have breast cancer secondaries in various spots, yippee, yippee yip yip.
You might not think that's cause for celebration but compared to the alternative it sure as shit seems like it to me.
Yeh it has been a truly tearful shitful horrid time as we have all tried to come to grips with the prospect of a lung cancer primary and lung cancer secondaries or worse still lung cancer primaries with a side order of breast cancer secondaries. That really would have sucked!
So when Graeme lobbed into see me at silly o'clock this morning and we got to taking about specifics which we have thus far avoided, I felt a bit numbed like being slapped around by maggoty meat. I asked him all my questions and then we got to the nitty gritty about Lung Cancer prognosis and treatments and I am glad to say that I waited til he left before my eyes washed my face over and over. I was not in line for Ms Australia Old Gal.
He tootled off and said he'd be back as soon as the definitive results were to hand. And then I did what we would all do but are told not to, I asked Dr Google, and to say there was no fucking good news there is the biggest understatement of all times, and I cried some more. I had to get tissues, and text Stevie and told him I was having a bit a teary day, so not rush to visit. He'd had kind friends ring him in the morning and was struggling to dam his eye balls too.
I have been in hospital since last Thursday in a room with million dollar views, but that's not my biggest lump of luck. Nah the luckiest thing is just how bloody amazing the nursing staff have been. No-one has been too busy to sit with me and listen to the crazy panic shit spewing forth. Today the lovely Toni has been on perfect hand to calm the farm and just listen. For days she has seen me at my absolute worst. She's McGyvered tapes and shit and has systematically removed drain pipes, some that looked to me that they could be used for domestic plumbing. Yeh Fucking awful indeed. But she was kind and gentle and funny and well, just real!
Graeme called back in early afternoon and there was a spring in his step as he told me that the cancer was secondary breast and so very much more manageable. I hugged him hard hard hard. And then Stevie and I washed our faces again and in the middle of all that Toni ran into my room cos she'd seen Graeme on his way out and there was more joyful hugging. And Stevie arrived and there was more hugging. Hug a bug day! Yummo.
It's been a rollercoaster day.
There's some hope that I might be doing chrissie shopping this year. Well I'll be fucked! Who'd have thunk it huh?
And then finally after all the madness of the tooing and froing, Darling Geoff arrived looking as he has done for all these years, cos he is such a class act and I am so fucking lucky to have found him, and he didn't gloat about being right in the face of all the medico opposition. We just congratulated ourselves, and he told me I looked well, especially given the monstrous week, and then he said that he's sorted his off-sider - well his new bloke really, to pop in tomorrow morning before I go home, and that he has teed up conflabs between important people that I like, and then he bowed out in his ever gracious humble way. I might have to admit sometime that I love him ever such a little bit. He rides in like Sir Galahad and has got me sorted again, or still.
I am utterly rooted.