Bat shit is driving me bat shit crazy.

Pretty little berries that the bats just can't resist.

The park next door is home to some lovely trees, the biggest and most shadeful are the Moreton Bay Fig trees, which Zig loves to climb and I have spent many many hours sitting beneath, enjoying the sway of the branches and the cool breeze which nearly always finds its way there.

Twice a year however, the trees find it necessary to grow little berries which sadly the fucking local bat colony just can't resist.

These bats are a source of great tension. Some people reckon they are lovely and should be allowed to carry on anywhere any time and others of us want the damn things GONE.

There are not too many natural predators to keep the bat numbers down.

Pretty much any carnivore will eat bats if they can catch them, that is why bats spend all day hiding in caves, hollow logs and so forth. Any bat that ventures out in daytime will be eaten within minutes.

The list of predtaors includes all the usual suspects such as cats, dogs, snakes, racoons, hawks, shrikes and so forth but also includes almost any carnivore you can imagine. I've seen bats being eaten by crocodiles, spiders, other bats and, as kawaii holwingwolves aid, by frogs. Bats ae incredibly small animals and are weak even for their size making them prey for almost anything at all that can catch them.

I couldn't think of any, so that is what I found. Hmmm:

• Cats - yep there are a few of them, but not too many in the tree and I am yet to see one fly.
• Dogs - yep plenty in the Dog park, but not at night and really most of 'em are just too stupid to put together a hunting plan.
• Snakes - not seen one thank god.
• Racoons - not here.
• Hawks - possibly
• Shrikes - ??
• Crocodiles - Farkkkk. I know we are careful of the bull sharks but now this is ridiculous.

Anyway you get the idea. I just don't see how the bat numbers are effectively moderated in the suburbs.

And if all they did was squark away at night, well I probably wouldn't care all that much. But they feast on the Fig Fruit and then shit everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. In bat shit season, it is not safe to wander across the park at dusk cos you might get squirted with barely digested figs. They have some sort of sonar which allows them to fly at speed and never crash into anything and they use the side of the house and the fence as their guide. And yep you guessed it, they shit all of the fence and the house.

It's hard to believe but this is all bat shit and most of today's load has already been blown off the seat.

The little picnic table right under one of the trees is very well used, ordinarily. But at the moment you have to arm yourself with a shovel to scrape of the big gunk and 4 litres of water and a scrubbing brush to clean up the rest.

It's only worth doing if you want to spend the afternoon there, and as darkness descends, you just know that their arseholes will be flappy again and the table will be a mess again in the morning.

I am very very pleased that it is not a mulberry tree, cos I reckon getting that purple colour gone might be impossible. At least this shit is yellow and doesn't stain too badly.

It is no secret that I am not a good greenie. I argue that I did my duty in breeding an excellent one. I don't always recycle, but my recycle bin is nearly always correctly loaded. I have no problem killing a bug, especially cockroaches or spiders and have been seen cheering wildly as Steve corrals grasshoppers or birds. So no I am not a greenie.

Therefore I would like it if the council would stop hiding behind the conservationist ticket and get rid of the bloody pests. I reckon they do nothing, not cos they want to protect the filthy things, but because it is just bloody cheaper. Doing nothing is always the councils preferred method. It costs nothing, but they can still employ all those paper shufflers, cos someone needs to answer the phones and tell you NO.

We are so lucky - I don't think. There have been 2 berry seasons this summer and whilst I am enjoying watching my lillypillies burst again in the garden, I would have been happy with one go for the bats in the park.

Ugly little fuckers aren't they. Anyone want to come and Pied Pipper them outta here?

Flat Pack Jig-Saw, are you any good?

Zig's pressie arrived today. The delivery bloke, not the Oz Post fool who has long refused to deliver anything here, took it off the truck and popped it onto his trolley thing and carried it right into the house. What a bloody great service!

Anyway the drawers-to-be arrived and Steve strong armed it all into the garage and set to immediately. Some long time later I ventured in and was not the least bit surprised to see all the screws and funny bits and stuff were all lined up and counted and all the parts were stacked in order of use and Steve was head down arse up winding his way through the INSTRUCTIONS. I admit to being impressed.

 

 

I have watched him put flat pack stuff together before and have always sit in awe to watch someone approach the whole thing so differently to me.

I'd get the stuff out and maybe leave it in piles, maybe not, and try shoving bits together until failure strikes and then I'd throw some bit through a wall. Instructions are for other people. How hard can it be? Well as it turns out bloody difficult.

Steve reckons that this thing was not as finely configured as an Ikea piece. It certainly looked like there were lots more bit and pieces and whilst I am pleased with the final product, I think that an Ikea bit might have been better, except that they didn't have one the right size.
 
It might not be the  most exciting pressie Zig gets but at least he wont have to start every day fighting with broken drawers to find his socks and jocks.

Real Estate Cons and Misconceptions

The big House is on the market. I have mentioned this before. We have scrubbed and fluffed and Steve has worked his arse off doing odd jobs that were a pain in the bum hole but important in making the place look bloody terrific.

The agent Paul organised a 'journo' from the Bulletin ( Bullie) to come and take some notes and write up a feature which she did and it was published in spite of the politics, last weekend. It was a pretty good write up even if I felt a little exposed cos she had included long direct word for word quotes from me. I had asked Steve to chat to her but he just ran away and left me to it, so I admit to waxing a bit lyrical at times.

Anyway from the off, I told Paul that there had been an error in the listing in that the address was wrong. I mean while we were building and were getting quotes we told people we lived in Bundall cos it is not too flash so perhaps tradies didn't gouge to quite the extent they did if we said we lived at Sorrento. But as we are trying to sell for a good price, we want the reverse to be true now and we want to use the posh address.

I told Paul this some weeks ago.

Today Steve got involved as there has not been one jot of interest. There are 30 houses for sale in Bundall and most of them are, well more modest, so our place looks like the best house in the worst street, and we all know that is not clever buying. There are about 30 houses for sale in Sorrento and the Big House is in good company here.

But here's the rub. Paul finally told Steve today that the web site www.realestate.com.au charges more for ads for houses in posh suburbs! I thought this sounded truly bogus, but after a bit of research, it turns out that this company brought in this change in June 2014. I suppose all's fair in love and war and if you can get the cash by foul or fair means well goodo. But what beggars belief is that we not happily, paid a premium price for ad placement and all we got was an ad for Ray White in the cheapo suburb. This doesn't seem like a winning play to me.

So there we were with what some people say is the best house article they have ever read in the Bullie! no hyperbole! and it has done us no good at all as when folk go to have a look online it comes up as being in the 'wrong suburb'

It's been a couple of weeks and we are now just waiting for the shoe to drop and for some push to be on to do something we don't want to do, like run naked down the street wearing an A Board, or have open houses or go to an auction, or open up the place to overseas backpackers so we can get a good rating on Trip Advisor. Who knows what the next strategy is gonna be? I only know that I am pretty sure that we are not gonna like it.

What to do during the rainy hols.

Steve and I swapped some silliness parcels one of which I roared about and that was an old-fashioned boxed board game of LUDO and on the reverse side, just to be practical and maybe even a little greenie, SNAKES AND LADDERS.

The rain has seen Steve starved of golf but big on the games.

We are both more than a little competitive. The Snakes and Ladders proved a tantrum throwing exercise for me as I pulled splinters, not from climbing all those fabulous ladders but from the dirt and scales of the bloody snakes which saw me slide again and again into the mire. Bloody stupid game!! Yeh OK  Steve won.

Then there was Ludo. We needed to re-learn the rules cos it had been more than a generation since either of us had played. Steve was red and I took green.

The first game we played with only 2 players each. He won. It was boring. Then we played again with 4 players each. I won and won and won. I am the Ludo champion of Bundall. Bloody terrific game!!

We have been in the pool even with the rain, cos it might be raining but in true Queensland fashion it is still stinky hot.

We made up a pool game which requires a 'noodle', a tennis ball, at least 2 players and a dog who is happy to field all day. So the game is a cross between cricket and softball. The pitches are over-arm and the noodle is the bat. You have to tuck the long end under your arm and swing the other end about like a maniac. What a great feeling when you make contact. Dog has become such an excellent fielder that I expect a call up any day from the Australian Cricket selectors. Yesterday she became such a star that she caught 2 balls as wickety and was then on a hat trick . I am not sure whether she missed or I missed but in any case a hat trick went begging. There is no winning and losing in this game, just hoots of laughter and the occasional smack in the head or arm as the tennis ball makes an oopsy.

I reckon we are now set for a Zig visit, even in the rain. He will want to have a go at the full length Monopoly but I hope he might be convinced to have a go at these quicker games where lots of people can become winners. Well I might let the fellas be winners from time to time.

Lucky basket's xmas week

The life of a handy basket, even a lucky one is hectic and varied and extremely exciting. Sue has toted me around for a wonderful xmas preparation. I have not let her down.

 

Breakfast at The Coffee Club at Robina Town Centre, preparing for the parcel onslaught. They even allowed Sue to charge her phone. Jolly nice folk.

 

Parcels galore. Saved a trip or two back to the car, and I never looked like I was gonna wilt under the load.

 

 

 

Christmas drinkies in the park. All the goodies carried safely, much lighter on my way home.

Only the chairs were too much to carry.

 

Christmas morning off to the beach for swimming and chatting and playing and fun.

 

Boxing Day caffeine hit. I was the only one not at all scuffy, because I didn't match the dinner outfit last night so I had to stay in.

 

I was a little surprised not to have been shuffled off to the Boxing Day sales, but tomorrow is another day.

The sales were attempted but the crowds and the rudeness of people proved too much for Sue. Tomorrow is still another day. But I have spied her shopping online so maybe I will have to wait til the sun comes out and be happy that I am at the beach.

Xmas done and dusted 😋

What a lovely day.

Parcels with cryptic clues and an hour and half in the unwrapping and laughing.

Too many calories for breakfast.

To the beach for a swim and a natter with friends. Ta very much Nik, lovely morning, Dog was exhausted from her big swim.

Home for a swim and a game of softball in the pool. Dog is an excellent fielder.

Dressed and out for dinner. Many champers and beers, good food, a visit from Santa and a sing-along.

We even had a little dance.

Bell and Zig will be down early in NY to do it all again. Lucky Santa is patient.

Xmas Eve not in the European Style

I was up early to put my hand to a Christmas cake, which I know I had left to the very last minute and as it was a first I was a little nervous. I have made Plum puddings from scratch before and have had them tied up in calico to dry for all of November, but I have not made a cake.

The puddings were less fabulous and more festering by the time I boiled it up after lunch in 1982. I remember the year cos I was pregnant and I was trying to do my old Nanna proud. I had made a family sized monster and a few smaller ones that I had given away as special homemade pressies. Oh shit the shame!

After the usual gorge of food provided by my lovely Dad, I set about dishing up the pudding after it had been boiling for hours. I then sliced it up and gave the woman what bore me a big slice. As she was about to dive into it and I was slicing the next walloper slab, I noticed it was full of big fat dead maggots. I guess they hadn't taken too kindly to being boiled. I stoped the breeder just in time. Sometimes I wish I could have made my discovery just a few seconds later. Naughty I know.

Anyway, this has tarred my whole intentions re xmas baking. I am not keen to repeat that little wriggling disaster.

So cake has been made and I think it looks pretty good, if not like a bought one and then Steve and I flopped about doing some last minute bits and pieces. I picked up some of that roll out icing and thought I might give it a go later on. In for a penny and all that. There is enough brandy in the cake to require a health warning and to disallow serving to children and the smell is pretty fab!

We have some baked ham and salad for dinner and then I guess we will do a bit of a wrap up, and then be off to be early so that Santa can do his best.

It has been a lovely Eve.

I hope yours has been the calm before the chaos of Christmas day.